Exploration

A little bit about myself. As soon as someone says this, the most likely next sentence is.. 'I grew up in..' or 'I was born in..', and I wonder a lot of times, why?

Why do we start our story, our identity from where we were began? Are we trying to reassure ourselves of how FAR we have come and that makes us proud? Or we are trying to show off how lucky we were to be born in a certain city, country, state, or a household?

If someone tells you a story of how they are a social activist, they work at this place, with so so hobbies, likes / dislikes sure you'd be interested in them. But what if they told you they were a former investment banker turned social activist, surely that makes you go OMG TELL ME MORE.

Who reads (auto)biographies? Almost everyone. Everyone wants to know HOW Steve Jobs got there, HOW a single mother navigated the world war, HOW exactly does it feel to be first black president's wife. It's almost never about what you are in the moment but always about the process of becoming who you are right now. What are we trying to learn from all these stories? Are we gauging how far a person can reach if they had enough luck, enough hardwork? Are we judging how poorly the lucky people are living, who got everything at their birth time - maybe generational wealth, maybe all the silver spoons. Does that make us feel better?

I think a lot about why I like to travel. Why does it feel so natural to sit down for hours and look for that perfect airbnb in a totally unknown country. Why does it feel comforting knowing that how much ever I fail in life, there will be some country, some town, some random person who was probably born to find me and tell me 'Bella.. life is beautiful'. And how do I even give up? Without being found, without being heard.

But what if I never got out of my hometown? Or I was born just 30 years ago and had to live a dependent life, on dad and then on husband? Where I come from, it was very normal to never find yourself due to lack of independence or money. And I am pretty sure, even today, a lot of people in life are not able to do everything they want or wish or dream of.

So am I finding myself because I was lucky in some parts of life? Or I am creating myself because we need to bloom wherever we are planted? Will I travel more because I feel lost in one place? Or will I travel more because I WANT to feel found in strange places?

Life is your own creation..

.. or merely exploration?